The blog really should be summarized in the title. But since this is failing to get across to many people I have met over years, I now know that this is not always understood.
WHICH IS FUCKING RIDICULOUS
I am still something like 16 months away from saying “I Do” but I am already putting out fires because people can’t behave.
I am not writing this to call anyone out, but to make the statement:
UNLESS YOU ARE THE ONE GETTING MARRIED, NOTHING ON THAT DAY IS ABOUT YOU.
It’s for the people getting married. It’s an expression of who they are and what they feel. It’s a celebration and a THANK YOU for being a part of their lives, but in no way is it for or about anyone but the bride and groom, groom and groom, bride and bride, dog and dog. Whatever coupling is happening.
BUT BUT you may argue.
I tell you, NO
Here’s the thing. Weddings are VERY stressful as is. Not only are you weighing the commitment you are making PUBLICLY but you have to make sure it’s a good decisions. When 50% or more of relationships end in divorce, I think maybe more thought should be put on this. Just saying. Regardless of how much you love someone this is still a little scary, and intimidating. Naturally, too, that person you love probably has a bad habit that you also have to question: Can I stand that for 50+ years?
I digress. The other stressful part of a wedding is the cost. Even if you don’t spend the average $35,000 on a wedding- which is insane, don’t do that- you still have to make sure you can afford to feed everyone, buy a dress, buy rings and still keep up with your other bills in the meantime. If you don’t have parents willing or able to help financially you REALLY have to make sure all of this happens.
On top of that everyone has a million opinions on shoes and flowers and hair and nails and which shade of peach the flower girl’s should be painted….or something like that. So can it all you “opinions” zip-it unless asked directly…and don’t be a negative nancy.
Finally, no doubt one of the people getting married is going to fuss over details and already is stressing on if aunt Cathy can make it up the stairs at 95 at the venue. Or if Uncle Will is going to get too drunk at the wedding and make a scene…so should you have an open bar? All of that is swimming in someone’s head and they don’t need YOUR nit-picky comments on something being “too small” or “too ghetto”. Okay? Again Zip-it. If fire code allows 250 people, then 150 will be just fine.
Anyway, you get the point. If you want a wedding, have one. Marry yourself if you must. Have a commitment to your cat. Whatever. Just don’t take your pent-up feelings out on people you love that are planning a wedding. Because it’s rude and annoying and you are probably ruining your relationship with them.