I Had a Dream

I had a weird dream last night.

It was part magical/happy and part Dali-esque trippy.

The magical happy: the Cheeto had not been elected president. Which yay! But somehow I was in power….which…woah, I don’t think so. Because I’m not sure that’s where I want to be AT ALL.

Regardless, there was a certain current president there. And he touched me on the shoulder and he told me to stay strong and keep fighting.

I was standing in this white room surrounded by people and a podium and cameras and journalists. Yet I was the one on the podium, in front of the people and the president was telling me to keep fighting. To resist. To move forward.

I’ve never been one to hold politicians up on pedestals, but I do care for Mr. Barack Obama, I quite like his wife, and his family. As far as presidents go, he has been a really good one.

Obama at CSU in 2012, shot by Rebecca Lee Robinson- I waited for 9 hours to get to see him and to get this shot.

I don’t agree with all the actions or inaction Obama has taken as a president, and I wish he could have done more than he did during his two terms. I understand though, with a congress that blocked most changes, and the checks and balances we have as a nation, that progress is slow.

However, progress has been made. It has also been because of his strong leadership and ability to connect with people that this has happened.

On a personal note, Obamacare has made my life manageable by having care and aid during tough times and medical issues. Having changes made to student loans, at least government, mean I can manage until I establish my career and finances. There are actual jobs for people and most are paying better than before.

Environmental initiatives have been taken to limit the damage humans have done. It’s probably too little too late, but it’s an effort to not totally eradicate life on this planet.

These are all important things. Not to mention national debt reduction and more people in jobs. It’s not perfect, but he’s picking up the pieces of a system that failed a lot of people.

Which is why so many of us supported Bernie, and then Hillary when she adopted much of the same rallying cry.

But… the electoral college, a system that isn’t really working so hot, has lead us to Trump. It’s also the fact Hillary wasn’t super likable, or that many people felt rejected by liberal elitism. Add in some racism and nationalism and people with a lack of true information and news and you have what we have. A narcissist that really wanted power for his own interests and ego, and that would and did say anything to win it.

THIS is what has depressed me and worried me to my core since Trump first announced he was running, it burned more after the primaries, and I felt like I had been thrown in a fire pit when he was elected.

It’s been almost a month, and I’m still feeling depressed and scared. As a history nerd, and with a BA, the parallels to the rise of Naziism and other eccentric fascist regimes terrifies me. The fact many white-supremacists support him, terrifies me.

The fact we also have a right-wing controlled house, congress and presidency is concerning. We also have Trump that will place someone in the supreme court, which will shape laws and movements in this country for decades.

Needless to say, I’ve been having a hard time. I’ve been feeling hopeless and frustrated and trapped. I have been cut off, and reserved and just feeling shitty. At times I don’t have a lot of hope for what the next four years will bring. At times, I’m so scared I can’t leave my bed. I know I’m not alone.

This dream I had, this novel idea of the President, someone I admire, telling me to move forward, is pretty intense. I think it has more psychology than symbolism behind it. I know that it is really my own voice telling me “get it together” “move” “resist” “protest” “fight”. This little voice, speaking above my anger and hatred to the Cheeto, telling me “I must go on and I can’t stop now”.

The battle hasn’t fully begun, we wait in the trenches for first gun-fire, but I know I can’t stay behind and die before I even leave the trench. I know I must clean off my shoes and tie my hair back and put on my Nasty Woman shirt and fight for another day, a future, a better situation.

I encourage you to do the same.

Take a dream, foster it, don’t let it die

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