Accomplishments and Goals – Part 1

musings

We all have that sinking feeling that we are some type of failure, that we are not moving in the right direction, that we should be doing something else or more to reach our goals and dreams. It’s easy to feel inadequate when you attempt to keep up with the Joneses, your family, your friends, and whatever Instagram star seems to have it all together. The truth is that success and accomplishments are not the same path for everyone. While one person finds just holding down a job a success, another person will crave more. While one person is thrilled to be a stay at home parent, their neighbor craves the thrill of the rat race. The truth is that for our own sanity, it’s important to acknowledge our own goals only to ourselves and to look at our accomplishments to their true value.

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I am one of those people that always wants to achieve more, for myself, and for those closest to me. I have a hard time taking no for an answer, but I also don’t take rejection or speed bumps easily. That being said, I have to remind myself that it’s important to count one’s accomplishment, along with where one wants to be. It levels ones anxiety to something of gratitude and optimism. Somewhere to go, and a path behind filled with goals already met. It’s a good feeling and a practice that all of you should try. See part II for my accomplishment list.

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I’ve been down a lot over the last few years.

Let’s make it the last decade or so.

Things have been crazy, things have been hard, things have made me cry and scream and fight.

Blood, sweat and tears means way more to me now than ever before.

Because everything I have done has had some serious pieces of me poured into it. Bled into it.

I don’t take my work lightly, I put as much effort into it as I can. It’s not always perfect, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t care or that I didn’t try. Sometimes this doesn’t translate into an end product that everyone likes. Sometimes, people don’t give a shit.

When this is the case, we often feel down, malcontent, anxious and even miserable. Yet if I have learned from anything, the down, turns back up. The down is also a chance to turn things around and make something of significance to your own life!

Take the pain and frustration of a failure, or heartbreak or being frightened to tears, to find something about yourself.

Maybe it’s a chance to learn something new to make the “failure” better in the future. Perhaps it’s not even changing your work, but demanding respect and care from who you work for. Maybe it’s even realizing “bad” work atmospheres as they become visible and learning to get out when you can. Sometimes it’s learning how to make trustworthy friends and that you’re worth more than people treat you like.

Or maybe it’s time to learn a new language or a skill so you can market yourself, maybe just brush up on a set area. Learn a craft for your free time. Read a book you’ve not had time for.

The upside to falling down is that it can also shock your mind into realizing problems around you. When I was forced to resign from a second job in six months, I realized so clearly what I had felt in my gut. They were going with a company to do marketing and they were downsizing everywhere! It wasn’t me, it was the company making serious changes.Of which, I had ignored for weeks while I saw co-workers leave or conveniently retire. I ignored overheard phone calls, and being ghosted by my boss. Now I KNOW what to look for….and I know it wasn’t personal when several other people were also thrown under the bus.

I also have a much better understanding that just because somewhere looks like a good place to be on the outside, doesn’t mean it’s actually a candy center….often it’s toxic sludge.

So I urge you, if you are down, deep down, deep in the trenches….fight…fight for yourself and the ability to be better. Fight your way out and up and onward and I leave you with this song as a measure of hope.

Best,

Rebecca

 

The Upside of Down

musings

I wish, I wish

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If only it was as easy as blowing out candles and getting a unicorn.

We all have wishes. Or rather hopes and dreams for our future. We wish for more money, better hair, another child, to travel the world etc.

These dreams give us goals to strive for something better than what we have. Which can be a good thing. The bad thing is when we don’t act on making them a reality. No doubt obstacles come up but fighting for what you want is where real success happens.

Growing up with minimal resources I wished to see the world, instead of waiting for a fairy to come and give me round trip tickets somewhere, I got a job, lived with my parents an extra year, and didn’t own a car so that I could do my first trip to Europe. Since then I have been two more times and have no doubt been able to do this because of others helping me, supporting my dreams and making sacrifices. My student loans can tell you that story, but I believe it was worth every penny of debt. Because it taught me more about myself and my abilities than any classroom could, or therapy session.

Some people get $100,000 in credit card debt, or buy a $50,000 sports car. Which is fine, but I spent my money on my dreams and something that benefited me for my future and it’s not just the travel. My education with that oh so shocking price tag was a chance for me to explore my mind and make something of it. No I may never be a millionaire but I know more and more about the world than I could from any other thing. I know about how to read stories, write stories, share information accurately and how my work can change minds and influence others. For thy penĀ is mightier than the sword.

Anyway, wishing is great, I wish all the time, for a better job, for more travel opportunities, for more money, to be out of debt, to have a nice wedding. I wish for all of these things, but the reality is unless I work towards them, then I will not get there. No, it’s not as easy as get degree-get job- have wonderful life. Because I bought into that idea for the last 10 years and it’s not reality. Yet, it’s just trying to find ways to thrive in any manner possible. It’s not always glamorous, it’s not always perfect, but I’m learning and working towards the wish(es) and that is all that matters.

So for you, even if you just do one thing today, do something for your future. Buy a book on learning Spanish, download Duolingo and take a few FREE lessons, pin some ideas on a Pinterest board. All around, just do it for you.

Lately I took some steps on reducing debt, cutting back on expenses and contacting others for help on establishing something of value- my own business. It may be ugly for a while, and I might want to stay in a hole, and I might lose hope at times. Yet, at the end of the day I am working on a wish and that is all that matters.

 

Best,

Rebecca Lee Robinson